The emotional journey of watching Mademoiselle spread her wings

Sharing my experience of pain and the changes I felt when my daughter went on a trip + 5 Italian escapes. #57

On Friday, Mademoiselle, nearly 16, flew to Kenya.

She is going on a charity trip with her school to help in a primary school in Nairobi. They will also spend a few days in a Maasai camp and probably do a little safari.

So it's an exciting trip and one that I was very enthusiastic about for her a year ago when we signed up for it.

Yet, I was not at all prepared for the anxiety, the heartache that it would be for me.

Although it was my idea initially, this past week I really resisted and wanted her not to go.

Fortunately, I had a conversation with my sister who is an expert in two ways. Although younger than me, she is a mother of two boys who were teenagers a few years back. And she is also a professor of neuropsychiatry.

What she explained to me, and what I didn't expect, is that my worry was not about flight risks or anxiety but about a deep fear of her going away from me.

And that it was a real change, a real evolution to have to let your child go to a place where you won't have access, where you can't help them, where they have to live their life alone.

It’s probably what is commonly referred as empty nest syndrome which is talked about quite lighthly and jokingly some times. I hadn’t it realised could be so transformational and painful.

I really felt it like a second childbirth. A labour of love that takes time, is difficult, makes you hurt. With the hope, of course, that the outcome will be joyful.

As my sister rightly pointed out, we tend to think that adolescence is a transformation only for teenagers, but in fact it is also a transformation for parents. You need to develop a different way of being a parent, of being with your child, or rather of NOT being with your child. To let them go and try the world, to fail and fall, and go back up and thrive.

All this to say that travel can be about discovering people, culture, beautiful hotels, beautiful places, discoveries, and many enjoyable things. But it can also generate a lot of changes and a lot of questioning.

I don't know if you have experienced this or if it resonates with you, but I would be interested in your experience too.

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Extra finds - Italy

Il Capri, Capri

From 320 Euros - Check latest prices and availability

Il Capri Hotel was built in the 19th century as a private villa in the Neo-gothic Venetian style before being transformed into a hotel in 1899. The new owners redesigned the interiors to reflect the grandeur of the property while imbuing it with a sense of contemporary chic. 21 rooms. Sun loungers line up along the rooftop swimming pool, shaded by red parasols with crenellated white edges.

Hotel Tenuta Negroamaro, Puglia

From 270 Euros - Check latest prices and availability

Located in a rural setting in the Italian region of Puglia, Tenuta Negroamaro, sits on nearly 10 acres of land but comprises only 10 rooms. With its vaulted ceilings, the main house is where you'll enjoy breakfast as well as a lounge area opening onto the pool. Each of the rooms has its own garden or private pool. Tenuta Negroamaro has a vegetable and fruit garden as well as a small farm and an outdoor pool as well as private pools for the rooms.

The Windsor , Liguria

From £189 per night - Check latest prices and availability

In Liguria, Italy, this hotel has been given a new life. A dash of subtle colors outside gives way to an open-floor layout that is brightly augmented by large floor-to-ceiling windows opening to the sea. There are 25 rooms, a private beach, gourmet restaurant and a bar, as well as a gym. No pool

Adler Lodge Ritten, Dolomites

From 3,500 euros for 3 nights all inclusive - Check latest prices and availability

Built on the Renon plateau overlooking the small town of Bolzano, the Adler Lodge Ritten is an eco-responsible hotel located in the Dolomites, Italy. The 5-star hotel has twenty glass and black wooden chalets and twenty junior suites, each offering a breathtaking view of the mountains The interior of the main lodge is decorated in bright colors. Every day, 4 to 5 activities are offered: snowshoe outing, 3-hour walk, morning yoga session, bike ride... All activities are included in the price of the room. The spa, immersed in nature, has an indoor and outdoor infinity pool with spectacular views of the hills. The saunas are housed in the pine forest 50 meters from the hotel.

Nolinski Venezia, Venice

From 920 euros - Check latest prices and availability

A brand new hotel that just opened, the former Chamber of Commerce of the City of the Doges becomes the second Nolinski outside of Paris. Over five floors, 43 rooms, including 13 suites have each a unique design. There is a gastronomic restaurant and a cozy bar. The Ottoman-inspired Spa and the gold mosaic-tiled pool have a view over the Venetian rooftops.